Falling Away

Jul 20, 2014

Is something hindering your growth in Christ?

One of the biggest things that stands in the way of whether or not I’m growing in Christ or growing away from Christ. Is me. Could it be the same for you? . 

I had never attended church until the age of 15 and that is when I became a believer in Christ. I got baptized at 16 and I was on fire for The Lord and attended church every Sunday. I was so passionate about learning more, growing in Him and becoming a better person... But a lot of things changed...

I believe the reason that so many people grow away from God after once proclaiming His name and and putting their faith in Him is because their idols get in the way. They become friends with the world and they become less concerned with how god views them and more concerned with how their peers view them. I believe people get too caught up in their goals and dreams and their lives that they lose sight of the prize. We get too wrapped up in ourselves...

This doesn't mean we are to live miserable lives. It means that we need to love Him more than life itself. We need to have his word as a guide over everything that we do and especially over our goals and decisions in  life. 

He needs to be number one. And this is where our idols get in the way. One of gods commandments is that we shall have no other gods before him. This can be just about anything. Whatever you love more than God is something you are making a God in your life. It is your idol.  So some people put a family member in place of God... A spouse, boyfriend, a friend, a pet. Or maybe a job... Or our own life goals. Facebook. Or even their college...

Whatever it may be. We are called to love God above and beyond any of these things. BC when he's not number one in our hearts we are off balance. And it is easier to fall into temptation and easier to give into sin, and those things do not lead to fruitfulness. He deserves our complete love because God demonstrated his own love for us in that While we were still sinners, Christ died for us!  

Most people think that I was not a Christian when I was modeling lingerie and working for VS and posing for men's magazines. Most think I got saved and then left the modeling industry... But like I said earlier I became a believer at 15... I began modeling at the age of 14 and I left home at 16 to pursue my dream of modeling full time in NYC. I was a Christian while I did all if those things that were definitely conflicting with scripture.. Things like drinking underage at the VS fashion show, posing topless at the age of 17... When I dressed provocatively and posed in men's magazines and purposely tried to get attention from men. When I posted tons of selfies on social media sites to try and get attention. When I flirted with other men while I was married... Yes I was a Christian during it all. But I had veered away from living my life for Christ...

I  was living my life for my own personal dreams... Not the dreams God had for my life. My own glory, not spreading Gods glory. I was selfish not selfless. I was living for my own idol, not for the one true God. I was living in a way that the world promoted. Not in the way that the bible called me to live. I was friends with the world... And I was on a path towards destruction, not a path of life.

Modeling was my God and it was hindering my relationship with Christ. It was blinding me from the light. When you love something so much, everything you do revolves around it. You will lie for it, compromise for it, change for it... I made a lot of compromises to get to the top in my career.... Weight loss.... Posing provocatively, changing the way I acted.  I was willing to do a lot of things to achieve my dream if becoming a VS model. And the more you compromise, the more you fall into destruction.... I made modeling and my career and my fame my life. 

I wasn't doing anything for Gods glory. It was all for my own glory. I only cared what people in the world thought of me. I wanted them to tell me I was beautiful and famous. I wanted to be liked...

Well I definitely wasn't showing people Christ by the way I lived my life... . I spent so much time trying to make it to the top because the world told me thats what i should do to be happy but once I was at the top I still found that I was searching for happiness and none of it was truly satisfying. 

So shortly after becoming a vs model I looked to God for answers. I thought that I was supposed to have a good job, lots of money,  and success and live a prosperous life as a Christian but when I gained all of those things I still had no fulfillment...

So God showed me that I was living for myself and living for my dreams rather than for Him and the life He had for me. 
I was not serving Him.... 

I was leading girls into eating disorders, men into temptation, causing destruction....
I was not being a good wife to my husband. 

I was not taking up my cross and following Him... My cross was on the floor hidden underneath pillows and blankets! 

I needed to begin to deny myself and my goals and my life and follow God and trust that His plans were better than mine!  

He promises fulfillment, and security. He promises restoration and unconditional love... He promises that He sees us as beautiful. All these things I was searching for could only be found in living for Him and putting Him first... So I needed to cut out the thing that was taking me away from Him.. My idol... My modeling career. It was the thing I kept sinning for and falling into temptation for. So I made the decision to give up modeling. And stop trying to get attention and fame. I gave it all up so that I could glorify Him and live my life for Him alone. And what I found was... 

All of his promises were true! I stand here today totally changed. I had left home with big plans for my life...plans that pulled me away from Him and he showed me that his plans far surpass mine! I've never been happier than I am when I am making God number one in my life... So I encourage you to examine your hearts.
Are your plans guided by scripture?Have you  trusted in God for your future? Everything is better when we trust In God.... Everything is better for our lives when He is number one, my prayer for you is that you will stay strong in His word and hav Him on your heart at all times so you do not get sucked into everything this crazy world entices you with because none of the worlds promises even compare to Gods. 

You can read more about my story in my book I'm No Angel 

Romans 12:1

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Matthew 19:21

Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."

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